The Klutz

I just read "Juggling for the Klutz"

I tried it and must be a total putz.

I dropped and I dropped

Then I finally stopped.

I guess I'm just meant to be a klutz.

Merry Christmas! Kala Xpistouyevva!

I Suck at Limericks.

I'm pretty sure some of these aren't technically limericks, but I really don't care

As I wait on the couch for spring,

I wonder what winter will bring.

From fitness to fatness,

From muscles to flatness.

Go away winter--bring us spring!

I'm even tired of the 'net

Don't mention the awful tv set

There's nothing to do,

I'm bored, yes, it's true

Guess I'll look that up on the 'net

My dishwasher just won't clean,

Won't even get rid of a bean,

There's crap on the pans,

Rather have dish pan hands.

I just want some dishes with sheen!

Our neighbors are kind of asses

Our landlord keeps giving them passes.

They're French, you see

Well, I also like Brie.

But please stop annoying the masses.

My bottle of Shiraz has run dry.

I note this with wary a sigh.

If there could be one more,

Please give me a pour.

But I could always substitute with pie.

The soup that I ate for dinner,

Campbell's keeps making it thinner.

Butternut squash,

While certainly not posh,

Was good enough for my dinner.

I have also written a four stanza long masterpiece about W. but that will have to wait until Jan. 20th for unveiling.

Snowed In!

(and bored). 

I think I make a pretty hot alien.

Our Dreams, and They Are Made Out of Real Things

Excel Spreadsheets dancing through brain make for fitful sleep (two nights in a row!)

Abundance of M&Ms makes working from home much more fattening than regular work

There are worse things that can fall out of the cupboard and break all over your face and body than vanilla extract

Data continues to be un-reproducible

Minnesotan didn't remember December to be this cold

Headache becoming permanent brain fixture

Woman the common denominator among failed projects she has worked on

After three accidents, woman confirms that glass vials don't bounce

Lab dishes not any more fun than home dishes to do

Wisconsinite getting burned out on cheese

"Series of Tubes" Now Connected to Mac

I am working from home today due to the extreme cold, ice, and 

laziness. Some of you may be aware of my Comcast Internet struggles.

Well, I finally was able to hook up my computer to Comcast's 

"series of tubes" this morning (note: I am still tethered to a 6-foot 

long cord, however). My struggles reminded me of everyone's favorite 

disgraced (soon-to-be-ex)-Senator Ted Stevens and his infamous 

words about the complexity of the "series of tubes" that you and I 

have come to know as the Internets.  

Enjoy!

If you are pressed for time watch the first minute or two and then skip to about 3:40--hilarious!!

Grad School: Because There Are So Many Wheels to Reinvent

Sorry, I've been really busy lately.  

Generally, 'Learning Experience' Synonymous With Breaking Things

A little 'A Christmas Story' cheer, for you....

"Only one thing in the world could've dragged me away from the soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window."

"I'd Buy You Rogaine...When You Start Losing All Your Hair"

"It wouldn't really be bad out...if it weren't for that wind"

--runner tells herself this every day

Extra layer of adipose attributed to Thanksgiving dressing

Cap'n Crunch cereal retrieved from cleavage 

Bug crawling on woman's desk meets untimely death

Grad student's animosity over prelim exam five months away starting to build

Citrus fruit taking over kitchen table

Minnesotan packing on the fat for winter

Grad student may be done with classes if she can find syllabus from class she took in 2004

Floppy disk full after 20 files

Women wins UK lottery (1,000,000 pounds) according to email (lucky day!)

MS down for cleaning, grad student is cleaner

Motorized Q-tip descends woman to near madness

Two red Sweetarts really ruin entire three pack

Grad student in denial about exam tomorrow

Library books renewed to avoid library trip

Papers due next week to be half-assed

Method's non-reproducibility not really a big surprise