Water balloons not as fun to fill and tie as they are to break
Eat, nap, eat technique mastered over long weekend
Half bag of Baked Cheetos consumed by bored driver
Need to hide stained orange fingers punishment for excessive Cheetos consumption
‘This American Life’ prompts driver to hold urine extra hour
Forgotten garbage taken out immediately upon home arrival, smell not as bad as owner feared
Viewer feels guilty while watching Olympic trials, reiterated the fact she hasn’t exercised in several days
Apartment just not getting cleaned tonight
Grad student not done work in embarrassingly long amount of time
Sleeping on couch only answer to stifling heat in apartment
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