Fly suffers excruciating death in drying Nalgene bottle overnight, owner also slightly dies inside
Tight capri pants deter excessive chocolate consumption
Apathetic grad student figures if lab phone rings long enough caller will just hang up
Cancelled art class leaves woman to continue wondering how bad she sucks at artistic endeavors
Employee only two years behind in discovering YouTube for procrastination
Library patron finds renewal much less effort than return
Plastic cutlery collection limited in spoon specimens
Mass Spec pre-broken for new user to save time
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