Monday, March 31, 2008
Sunday, March 30, 2008
The Toilet Was So Clogged, It Was Like a Diseased Artery on Vytorin
Badger fan refuses Cheddar in protest of basketball loss to Davidson
Undercooked burger zapped in microwave in hopes of staving off foodborne illness
Snowman reduced to one ball in 40 degree weather
Price of salon trip worth it just for 1 minute head massage
Bag of spinach disappears somewhere between check-out and home refrigerator
Viewer finds some portions of 'Clerks' extremely disturbing but keeps watching regardless
Cleaning reveals couple's apartment actually pretty nice
Girl Scout Cookies: the most delicious saturated fat you can buy for $3.50
Grad student proud of minimal work completed over weekend
Undercooked burger zapped in microwave in hopes of staving off foodborne illness
Snowman reduced to one ball in 40 degree weather
Price of salon trip worth it just for 1 minute head massage
Bag of spinach disappears somewhere between check-out and home refrigerator
Viewer finds some portions of 'Clerks' extremely disturbing but keeps watching regardless
Cleaning reveals couple's apartment actually pretty nice
Girl Scout Cookies: the most delicious saturated fat you can buy for $3.50
Grad student proud of minimal work completed over weekend
Friday, March 28, 2008
Blogger Pretty Sure You’re Slacking Off Too
Woman and messy kitchen mutually avoiding each other
Presentation bores both audience and presenters alike
Containers pulled from lab fridge dated 1972 apparently missed by last 35 spring cleanings
Sun shining through window cruel reminder for woman stuck inside
Grad student feels day-old pizza tastes so much better because it’s free
Woman with no will power fairly certain 2 lb bag of Jelly Bellys on ‘communal’ table just not a good idea
Black cloud of work hanging obligatorily over grad student's head as weekend arrives
Presentation bores both audience and presenters alike
Containers pulled from lab fridge dated 1972 apparently missed by last 35 spring cleanings
Sun shining through window cruel reminder for woman stuck inside
Grad student feels day-old pizza tastes so much better because it’s free
Woman with no will power fairly certain 2 lb bag of Jelly Bellys on ‘communal’ table just not a good idea
Black cloud of work hanging obligatorily over grad student's head as weekend arrives
Thursday, March 27, 2008
‘Oh, Inverted World’
Week drags on for fourth day in a row
Woman eats chocolate cake in order to stave off madness
‘Fitness Water’ makes woman feel fit while just sitting around
Regular-achiever feels Powerpoint presentation more than sufficient
Employee's lunch less tasty when eaten at desk
American not quite smart enough to complete Greek homework
Walk to bus stop most interesting part of grad student's day
Professor makes no sense for 1.5 solid hours
Enthusiasm for class reaches all-time low
Woman eats chocolate cake in order to stave off madness
‘Fitness Water’ makes woman feel fit while just sitting around
Regular-achiever feels Powerpoint presentation more than sufficient
Employee's lunch less tasty when eaten at desk
American not quite smart enough to complete Greek homework
Walk to bus stop most interesting part of grad student's day
Professor makes no sense for 1.5 solid hours
Enthusiasm for class reaches all-time low
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Maple Brown Sugar with Pecans Highly Recommended
Greasy hair desperate for shower
Hair in drinking fountain makes it difficult to fill up water bottle without gagging
Grad student relieved to find machine-shop-man too busy to care she didn’t finish collecting needed info
Three standard Post-it notes needed to hold woman’s entire ‘to do’ list
Grad student eats ‘Instant Multigrain Hot Cereal’ (not oatmeal, mind you) for breakfast and lunch
Meeting at coffee shop the only silver-lining about group project
UPS man misses woman again on second drop-off attempt
Hair in drinking fountain makes it difficult to fill up water bottle without gagging
Grad student relieved to find machine-shop-man too busy to care she didn’t finish collecting needed info
Three standard Post-it notes needed to hold woman’s entire ‘to do’ list
Grad student eats ‘Instant Multigrain Hot Cereal’ (not oatmeal, mind you) for breakfast and lunch
Meeting at coffee shop the only silver-lining about group project
UPS man misses woman again on second drop-off attempt
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Breathe In, Breathe out. Repeat. Continue Until Hyperventilating.
Last episode of Arrested Development leaves viewer wondering if she’ll ever laugh again
Girlfriend not exactly pleased boyfriend consumed last 1/2 pound of leftover Easter ham
Girlfriend not exactly pleased boyfriend consumed last 1/2 pound of leftover Easter ham
Woman on carb binge consumes cinnamon and sugar toast out of desperation
TV viewer feels bad no one cares about NCAA women's basketball tournament, then turns channel
30 minutes of 'The Bachelor' lowers woman's IQ by at least 30 points
Grad student relieved to find what she was looking for, even if it was in front of someone else’s face the entire time
Employee annoyed by meeting she forgot to put on Outlook calendar
Literature search yields literature grad student doesn’t really want to read
American Airlines cheap fares e-newsletter painful reminder that Minnesotan not going anywhere anytime soon
Grad student hasn't had to go to class in so long she forgot how awful it really is
Non-engineer ecstatic she didn't get the lowest grade in the class on examGroup meeting proof that three dumb heads not a replacement for one smart one
TV really getting in the way of couple's home productivity
Monday, March 24, 2008
Today is World Tuberculosis Day! Don't Forget to Celebrate by Spreading Tuberculosis!
Two naps keep woman from normal 10:30 bedtime
RAZR phone rebounds after dropping incident
Grown woman didn’t get out of her pajamas yesterday
Madness sets in after hearing Paula Deen’s voice for more than 30 seconds by accident
RAZR phone rebounds after dropping incident
TA thinks printing lab reports in ‘landscape’ is pretty careless, even by undergrad standards
Presentation slides look obviously made at the last minute
Presentation slides look obviously made at the last minute
Clipart cookie advertises irony of Nutrition and Dietetics club bake sale
Grad student hopes someone in her group knows what project actually about
Tan spring-breakers really stick out after snow storm
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Grab It Like a Skill Crane, Baby!
Friday night in front of television leaves something to be desired
Runner's brain rages against people who don't shovel their sidewalks for 16 straight miles
Trip to Target possibly highlight of weekend
If snowman were human, he would definitely have a learning disability
Sunday afternoon drive starts and ends in boredom
Scalloped potatoes not as good as mom used to make, partially because woman had to make them herself
Woman makes dinner, man forced to clean up
TV viewer's choice between Dateline and Big Brother really a losing proposition
Iron Chef America captivating even without that guy doing back-flips
Last six weeks of the semester going to be painful for grad student (and everyone who has to deal with her!)
Runner's brain rages against people who don't shovel their sidewalks for 16 straight miles
Trip to Target possibly highlight of weekend
If snowman were human, he would definitely have a learning disability
Sunday afternoon drive starts and ends in boredom
Scalloped potatoes not as good as mom used to make, partially because woman had to make them herself
Woman makes dinner, man forced to clean up
TV viewer's choice between Dateline and Big Brother really a losing proposition
Iron Chef America captivating even without that guy doing back-flips
Last six weeks of the semester going to be painful for grad student (and everyone who has to deal with her!)
Friday, March 21, 2008
Spring Trying to Decide if Winter is Over or Not
Hummer driver obviously way too cool to yield to nerdy pedestrian
Start of final DVD of ‘Arrested Development’ invokes sadness in viewer
Woman in need of complex carbs disappointed by lack of sweet potatoes at grocery store
Abs workout even more painful after week of laziness
Snow storm on second day of spring not really as funny as it sounds
Wet snow best washing Altima has had in months
Employee's foot asleep, the rest of her body wishes it was too
Grad student makes another empty promise to herself about getting something done
Woman well on her way to getting her 5-a-day
Start of final DVD of ‘Arrested Development’ invokes sadness in viewer
Woman in need of complex carbs disappointed by lack of sweet potatoes at grocery store
Abs workout even more painful after week of laziness
Snow storm on second day of spring not really as funny as it sounds
Wet snow best washing Altima has had in months
Employee's foot asleep, the rest of her body wishes it was too
Grad student makes another empty promise to herself about getting something done
Woman well on her way to getting her 5-a-day
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Back Ta Dis….
Grad student can no longer avoid email reminders about project due next week
Taxpayer not getting refund feels like you at least owe her lunch with yours
Brain apologizing profusely to body for yesterday’s junk food binge, stomach obviously still very pissed off
Woman really doesn’t care about NCAA tournament this year
TA welcomed back by lab reports awaiting grades
Taxpayer not getting refund feels like you at least owe her lunch with yours
Cynical woman pretty sure two grand she owes Uncle Sam going to be used to bomb someone
Brain apologizing profusely to body for yesterday’s junk food binge, stomach obviously still very pissed off
'American Idol' definitely not as funny as 'Bulgarian Idol'
Grocery list essentially includes everything
Grocery list essentially includes everything
Beautiful day slightly marred by rumors of impending snow storm
Five days of doing nothing really zapped grad student’s motivation
NCAA bracket filled out pretty much randomly
Woman really doesn’t care about NCAA tournament this year
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Yep, the Griswolds Are Back
Late night falafel pretty much the best thing ever tasted at that second
Number of Starbucks spotted in Toronto really starting to get ridiculous
Airport boredom leads to junk-food over-consumption
Gluttonous American relieved to find free refills again upon return to U.S.
Passenger secretly blames pilot for turbulence
Man blamed for McFlurry disappearance upon woman's return from restroom
In-flight magazine way too boring to be read anywhere else but in-flight
$450 flight apparently not expensive enough to warrant receiving entire can of Diet Pepsi
Only lasting souvenir brought home from trip the need to loosen belt buckle one notch
Women's luggage always seems like the last to come out on the carousel
Only mass transit waiting to pick up couple from airport
Time of night correlated with smelliness of riders of Number 16 bus
Using home toilet just like seeing an old friend again
Possible dehydration death of basil plant saddens pesto lover
Number of Starbucks spotted in Toronto really starting to get ridiculous
Airport boredom leads to junk-food over-consumption
Gluttonous American relieved to find free refills again upon return to U.S.
Passenger secretly blames pilot for turbulence
Man blamed for McFlurry disappearance upon woman's return from restroom
In-flight magazine way too boring to be read anywhere else but in-flight
$450 flight apparently not expensive enough to warrant receiving entire can of Diet Pepsi
Only lasting souvenir brought home from trip the need to loosen belt buckle one notch
Women's luggage always seems like the last to come out on the carousel
Only mass transit waiting to pick up couple from airport
Time of night correlated with smelliness of riders of Number 16 bus
Using home toilet just like seeing an old friend again
Possible dehydration death of basil plant saddens pesto lover
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Oh Canada, You Silly Canadian Goose!
Spring Breaker goes wild, has two drinks in one night
CN Tower observation deck allows visitors to see for themselves how empty Canada really is
Some Canadians as dumb as most Americans
Consumption of cupcake just leaves woman feeling fat, not fat and happy like she had hoped
Navigator fed up with this crappy map
Canadian nap much more satisfying than American nap
St. Patty's day pretty much means nothing to non-Irish woman
Canadian people on cell phones on the bus just as annoying as American people on cell phones on the bus
Visitor thinks Canadian dogs definitely dressed better than typical American dogs
Chapped lip cries out for attention by bleeding
Vacationing woman purchases record number of over-priced coffee drinks
Canada really lacking Target stores
Some Canadians as dumb as most Americans
Consumption of cupcake just leaves woman feeling fat, not fat and happy like she had hoped
Navigator fed up with this crappy map
Canadian nap much more satisfying than American nap
St. Patty's day pretty much means nothing to non-Irish woman
Canadian people on cell phones on the bus just as annoying as American people on cell phones on the bus
Visitor thinks Canadian dogs definitely dressed better than typical American dogs
Chapped lip cries out for attention by bleeding
Vacationing woman purchases record number of over-priced coffee drinks
Canada really lacking Target stores
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Out and ‘aboot’ in Canada-land
Giant Snoopy in front of ‘Larry Craig’ bathroom at MSP airport makes situation even more comical
Canada: America on the Metric system
Larry Craig probably still pretending to not be gay
American shocked to find out they have 'the internets' in Canada too
Toronto pretty much like Chicago except with Canadian people
Traveler sees for herself that dollar can’t buy sh*t anymore
Visitor pretty sure attempts to go over Niagara Falls in a barrel as fake as moon landing
Many rainbows seen at Niagara Falls and not just because Canada is so accepting
Woman returns to scene where older sister got lip stuck to Popsicle 15 years ago
American shocked to find out they have 'the internets' in Canada too
Toronto pretty much like Chicago except with Canadian people
Traveler sees for herself that dollar can’t buy sh*t anymore
Visitor pretty sure attempts to go over Niagara Falls in a barrel as fake as moon landing
Many rainbows seen at Niagara Falls and not just because Canada is so accepting
Woman returns to scene where older sister got lip stuck to Popsicle 15 years ago
Canada: America on the Metric systemFriday, March 14, 2008
Liberal making good on her promise to move to Canada, but only for four days
Compulsively early woman annoyed at own tardiness
Limp hair proof that 'volumizing conditioner' just not working like it said it would
Grad student en route to wild spring break destination of Toronto, Canada
Toronto actually South of Twin Cities making it a viable ‘spring break’ destination
Frequent Flier miles really great until you actually try to use them
Woman gets more un-tan in preparation for trip to Canada
Blogger gone until next week, reader could care less
Limp hair proof that 'volumizing conditioner' just not working like it said it would
Grad student en route to wild spring break destination of Toronto, Canada
Toronto actually South of Twin Cities making it a viable ‘spring break’ destination
Frequent Flier miles really great until you actually try to use them
Woman gets more un-tan in preparation for trip to Canada
Blogger gone until next week, reader could care less
Thursday, March 13, 2008
‘You've really got a knack for being bored’
Satisfaction of finishing paper balanced out by how crappy it really is
High school French teacher would be happy to know French learned 8 years ago not completely purged from brain, really interfering with ability to learn new language
Meat-like chunks in soup conformed by label to be chicken, consumer still doubtful
Novice athlete’s biceps pathetically small, even for a woman
'The Bachelor' to return next week with a new tool
Worker certainly not using copier for personal use
Woman doesn’t feel like she spends too much time in the bathroom any more
Left ear nearly ripped off in headphone-computer attachment mishap
Boycott of Texas grapefruit in works after discovery of rotten one by woman craving grapefruit
Lazy twenty-something contemplates throwing away Gladware just so she doesn’t have to clean it
High school French teacher would be happy to know French learned 8 years ago not completely purged from brain, really interfering with ability to learn new language
Meat-like chunks in soup conformed by label to be chicken, consumer still doubtful
Novice athlete’s biceps pathetically small, even for a woman
'The Bachelor' to return next week with a new tool
Worker certainly not using copier for personal use
Woman doesn’t feel like she spends too much time in the bathroom any more
Left ear nearly ripped off in headphone-computer attachment mishap
Boycott of Texas grapefruit in works after discovery of rotten one by woman craving grapefruit
Lazy twenty-something contemplates throwing away Gladware just so she doesn’t have to clean it
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Finally Woken
Clean dishes apparently too much to ask from dishwasher
Viewer feels bad thinking the Daily Show was more funny during the writer’s strike
Insomnia cured by 10 minutes of subtitled movie on Independent Film Channel
Recipients don’t respond to mass email en masse
Woman didn’t learn from yesterday’s turtle cake gut-rot, definitely learned from today’s
TA doesn’t think ‘This is busy work’ is a suitable conclusion in lab report, deducts points
TA pretty sure grading lab reports is busy work, but not going to write it on an assignment
Google Books definitely blocking out the pages grad student needs on purpose
Sighting of high school letter-jacket that says ‘Class of 2010’ makes grad student feel really old
Consumer doesn't feel as bad about destroying her teeth with phosphoric acid when drinking Diet Coke Plus
Viewer feels bad thinking the Daily Show was more funny during the writer’s strike
Insomnia cured by 10 minutes of subtitled movie on Independent Film Channel
Recipients don’t respond to mass email en masse
Woman didn’t learn from yesterday’s turtle cake gut-rot, definitely learned from today’s
TA doesn’t think ‘This is busy work’ is a suitable conclusion in lab report, deducts points
TA pretty sure grading lab reports is busy work, but not going to write it on an assignment
Google Books definitely blocking out the pages grad student needs on purpose
Sighting of high school letter-jacket that says ‘Class of 2010’ makes grad student feel really old
Consumer doesn't feel as bad about destroying her teeth with phosphoric acid when drinking Diet Coke Plus
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Liquid Water Outside! You Better Look Before it Freezes Again!
Lab meeting reminds grad student of other students’ productivity
Turtle cake consumption leads to napping fantasies
Temperatures approach 40°F, Minnesota runner nearly suffers heat stroke
Exposed forearm increases Vitamin D synthesis 1000% from previous 120 days
Mid-March signs of spring possibly just a cruel joke
Deodorant goes unappreciated until forgotten
Woman surprised to find out Super-Computing Institute literally has super-sized computers
Gophers build small football stadium to keep number of people who can see how bad they are to a minimum
Turtle cake consumption leads to napping fantasies
Temperatures approach 40°F, Minnesota runner nearly suffers heat stroke
Exposed forearm increases Vitamin D synthesis 1000% from previous 120 days
Mid-March signs of spring possibly just a cruel joke
Deodorant goes unappreciated until forgotten
Woman surprised to find out Super-Computing Institute literally has super-sized computers
Gophers build small football stadium to keep number of people who can see how bad they are to a minimum
Monday, March 10, 2008
Nerd's creativity stifled by grad school
Woman tries anchovies on pizza, realizes why nobody actually orders it
Daylight Savings time makes getting out of bed even harder
Professional student wonders if peacoat too professional for her current line of work
Employee changes desktop background every Monday to add excitement to her life
Average-size woman getting sick and tired of always seeing skinny people on the cover of Runner’s World
TA grading lab reports wondering what she did to deserve this punishment
Local woman with split-ends putting off haircut due to well-substantiated fear of Great Clips
Squirrels mating on windowsill outside totally just using each other
Third squirrel joins in, co-workers laugh awkwardly
Paper due on Friday not progressing well because it's only Monday
Grad student immature enough to find this entertaining
Daylight Savings time makes getting out of bed even harder
Professional student wonders if peacoat too professional for her current line of work
Employee changes desktop background every Monday to add excitement to her life
Average-size woman getting sick and tired of always seeing skinny people on the cover of Runner’s World
TA grading lab reports wondering what she did to deserve this punishment
Local woman with split-ends putting off haircut due to well-substantiated fear of Great Clips
Squirrels mating on windowsill outside totally just using each other
Third squirrel joins in, co-workers laugh awkwardly
Paper due on Friday not progressing well because it's only Monday
Grad student immature enough to find this entertaining
Sunday, March 9, 2008
In like a Lion
Woman wonders if male roommate physically unable to change toilet paper roll
TurboTax reminds grad student of current state of poverty
Brusher squeezes toothpaste from the top of the tube--get over it already!
Dry skin really crying out for moisturizer
Runner's face frozen for first 6 miles, was able to communicate through grunts in final 6
'Boot game' really not a good idea for anyone over the age of 23
Designated driver hopes everyone notices her yawning
Soft-pretzel addict hits rock bottom at German bar
Polka-dancing with heels on induces undesirable shin splint
Obsessive viewing of 'Arrested Development' Season 2 grinds home productivity to a halt
Directionally-challenged woman gets East and West confused, ends up in Eagan
Even votive candle section of Ikea overwhelming
TurboTax reminds grad student of current state of poverty
Brusher squeezes toothpaste from the top of the tube--get over it already!
Dry skin really crying out for moisturizer
Runner's face frozen for first 6 miles, was able to communicate through grunts in final 6
'Boot game' really not a good idea for anyone over the age of 23
Designated driver hopes everyone notices her yawning
Soft-pretzel addict hits rock bottom at German bar
Polka-dancing with heels on induces undesirable shin splint
Obsessive viewing of 'Arrested Development' Season 2 grinds home productivity to a halt
Directionally-challenged woman gets East and West confused, ends up in Eagan
Even votive candle section of Ikea overwhelming
Friday, March 7, 2008
…And the World Spins Madly On….
Foreign language class makes woman realize that she’s not very good at English either
Grad student’s new project replaces feelings of un-fulfillment with ones of panic
Grad student convinces social conscience that chewing gum project will change the world
Fan hopes Brett Favre will resume acting career after dazzling performance in ‘There’s Something About Mary’
‘Easy’ 4-miler definitely not as easy at 0°F
Promise of Thai food good enough reason to get through the day
‘City Search’ names every restaurant in city ‘Best of City Search’
Sudoku puzzle brings excitement to 2 hour class
Regular-achiever’s grade really being brought down by over-achievers
Google search completely lets researcher down this time
Nalgene bottle might cause cancer, definitely causes proper-hydration
Local woman figures out garbage should have been taken out before work 8 hours too late
House plants failure to thrive indicative of need for Miracle Grow
Useless fact under Snapple lid not impressing consumer
Grad student’s new project replaces feelings of un-fulfillment with ones of panic
Grad student convinces social conscience that chewing gum project will change the world
Fan hopes Brett Favre will resume acting career after dazzling performance in ‘There’s Something About Mary’
‘Easy’ 4-miler definitely not as easy at 0°F
Promise of Thai food good enough reason to get through the day
‘City Search’ names every restaurant in city ‘Best of City Search’
Sudoku puzzle brings excitement to 2 hour class
Regular-achiever’s grade really being brought down by over-achievers
Google search completely lets researcher down this time
Nalgene bottle might cause cancer, definitely causes proper-hydration
Local woman figures out garbage should have been taken out before work 8 hours too late
House plants failure to thrive indicative of need for Miracle Grow
Useless fact under Snapple lid not impressing consumer
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Woman really wishes today would just be over already
Up-tempo classical music invokes mild panic attack
Customer fairly certain cable company employee lying during price negotiations
Caller develops mildly bad attitude while discussing cable bill rip-off with cable company employee
Grad student tutored by Wikipedia for exam
Woman pretends to be annoyed by forwards, but really thinks those kittens are cute
Studier consumes massive amount of calories out of sheer boredom
Exam-taker wishes she hadn't just pretended to read those articles
Least intelligent student in class studied hard but still ended up 'winging it'
'Soft science' major unable to hang with engi-nerds on exam, definitely brings down curve
Ridiculous amount of seeds really ruins grapefruit eating experience for citrus consumer
Disheartened woman left wondering if pants shrunk or butt grew
Customer fairly certain cable company employee lying during price negotiations
Caller develops mildly bad attitude while discussing cable bill rip-off with cable company employee
Grad student tutored by Wikipedia for exam
Woman pretends to be annoyed by forwards, but really thinks those kittens are cute
Studier consumes massive amount of calories out of sheer boredom
Exam-taker wishes she hadn't just pretended to read those articles
Least intelligent student in class studied hard but still ended up 'winging it'
'Soft science' major unable to hang with engi-nerds on exam, definitely brings down curve
Ridiculous amount of seeds really ruins grapefruit eating experience for citrus consumer
Disheartened woman left wondering if pants shrunk or butt grew
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Ολυμπιακός Fans Cry into their Baklava
Excitement building over anticipated weekend trip to Ikea
Loser gets teary while watching 'Biggest Loser' weigh-in
Grad student too lazy to wear make-up for the sixth month in a row
GPS watch constant reminder of how painfully slow woman runs
Lunch-time runner feels sorry for co-workers who have to see her afterwards
Rider slightly dismayed at sight of bus driver drinking pills from prescription bottle
Liberal thinks John McCain really Dick Cheney with new haircut and liposuction
2” of snow just enough to be pain in the ass
Grad student annoyed at herself for taking hard class
Stressed grad student wishes alcohol at work weren’t so taboo
Irony of fall on ice in front of ‘Packer bar’ not lost on fan
Semi-lactose intolerant woman really regretting that ice cream
Loser gets teary while watching 'Biggest Loser' weigh-in
Grad student too lazy to wear make-up for the sixth month in a row
GPS watch constant reminder of how painfully slow woman runs
Lunch-time runner feels sorry for co-workers who have to see her afterwards
Rider slightly dismayed at sight of bus driver drinking pills from prescription bottle
Liberal thinks John McCain really Dick Cheney with new haircut and liposuction
2” of snow just enough to be pain in the ass
Grad student annoyed at herself for taking hard class
Stressed grad student wishes alcohol at work weren’t so taboo
Irony of fall on ice in front of ‘Packer bar’ not lost on fan
Semi-lactose intolerant woman really regretting that ice cream
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Number 4, No More :( *
*first and last use of emoticon—I swear
Packer fan to honor Favre by retiring cheesehead
Feeling in most of fan’s toes has returned since attending December Packer game
Number of crying male rednecks peaks today
Minnesota resident can hear entire state of Wisconsin sobbing from here
Favre sets record for largest number of devastated overweight fans
Northerners love Favre, but not many other Southerners
Most fans hoped Favre would retire only after receiving AARP card
Packer fan wants to hit Giants fan boyfriend more than usual today
(Mundane news to return tomorrow...this is soooo much more important, obviously)
Packer fan to honor Favre by retiring cheesehead
Feeling in most of fan’s toes has returned since attending December Packer gameNumber of crying male rednecks peaks today
Minnesota resident can hear entire state of Wisconsin sobbing from here
Favre sets record for largest number of devastated overweight fans
Northerners love Favre, but not many other Southerners
Most fans hoped Favre would retire only after receiving AARP card
Packer fan wants to hit Giants fan boyfriend more than usual today
(Mundane news to return tomorrow...this is soooo much more important, obviously)
Monday, March 3, 2008
Dut dut a duh…Monday
After nice weekend, Minnesotan ups standard for ‘warm’ from 20 to 30F
Grad student mad at herself for over-sleeping, but still really enjoyed it
TA starts to grade lab reports but then remembers she doesn’t give a sh*t
Obama supporter wonders if Hillary will ‘jump the shark’ for good tomorrow
Another Chiquita banana sticker added to desk-top collection
Semi-domesticated woman disappointed by boyfriend’s comparison of her carrot soup to feces
Contact lens really starting to piss off near-sighted woman
Journal articles sadly not going to read themselves
Microsoft Office 2007 really just annoying everybody
Grad student mad at herself for over-sleeping, but still really enjoyed it
TA starts to grade lab reports but then remembers she doesn’t give a sh*t
Obama supporter wonders if Hillary will ‘jump the shark’ for good tomorrow
Another Chiquita banana sticker added to desk-top collection
Semi-domesticated woman disappointed by boyfriend’s comparison of her carrot soup to feces
Contact lens really starting to piss off near-sighted woman
Journal articles sadly not going to read themselves
Microsoft Office 2007 really just annoying everybody
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Saturday, Fatterday
Runner's quads really angry with her after long run
Non-native Minnesotan pretty sure they call 'Minnesota nice' passive aggressiveness in other states
Viewer has own existential crisis while watching 'I Heart Huckabees'
Packer fan still crying inside over Giants game disaster
Watching local news basically a waste of time
Pseudo-intellectual sorry, but sometimes NPR is just boring
Art museum much easier to leave after 15 minutes when it's free
Chia herb garden sometimes neglected because it needs to be watered so damn much
Wimp attempts to pump up weak arms using over-priced infomercial exercise program
Flabby twenty-something definitely never going to have six pack
Grad student pretty sure parents think grad school is taking way too long
Family day at gym turns novice athlete off to both having a family and going to the gym
Non-native Minnesotan pretty sure they call 'Minnesota nice' passive aggressiveness in other states
Viewer has own existential crisis while watching 'I Heart Huckabees'
Packer fan still crying inside over Giants game disaster
Watching local news basically a waste of time
Pseudo-intellectual sorry, but sometimes NPR is just boring
Art museum much easier to leave after 15 minutes when it's free
Chia herb garden sometimes neglected because it needs to be watered so damn much
Wimp attempts to pump up weak arms using over-priced infomercial exercise program
Flabby twenty-something definitely never going to have six pack
Grad student pretty sure parents think grad school is taking way too long
Family day at gym turns novice athlete off to both having a family and going to the gym
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